I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
