if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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