Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
