mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
