Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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