She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
