I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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