If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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