Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
my shit smells like andre
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Randomize
