made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
