so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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