i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
