i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
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