You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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