I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
