She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Woke up backwards on a recliner
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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