I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
