Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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