you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
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Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
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Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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