I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
someone owes me an orgasm
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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