All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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