I think i peed on brittanys purse
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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