yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
