margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
