He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
