I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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