plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she peed on how many people?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize