I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
