i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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