put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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