the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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