i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize