why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
