We're facebook friends in real life
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
