I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
