This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
