nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
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