I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
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well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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