As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
