What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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