New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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