rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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