Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
