No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
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He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
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I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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