and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Vodka?
Forever.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize