u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
