I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
