i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I understand Curling. That high.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
