You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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