Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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