May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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