I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
