i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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