Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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