I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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