There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
