I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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