i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
