do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
ttyl tear gas
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
