he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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