How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
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Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
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So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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