question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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